


Gifted Is the Term

by inalasahl



Category: Firefly, Serenity (2005)
Genre: Community: nsp_ficathon, F/F, Indentured Servitude, Kidnapping, Non-Sexual Slavery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-02-20
Updated: 2007-02-20
Packaged: 2017-10-07 07:01:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,025
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/62616
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inalasahl/pseuds/inalasahl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>River always did everything better than Simon, but that never mattered before.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Gifted Is the Term

**Author's Note:**

  * For [isilrandir](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=isilrandir).



> Thanks to llaras for the beta and skripka for the music help.

>   
> _"Gifted" is the term. So when I tell you that my little sister makes me look like an idiot child, I want you to understand my full meaning. River was more than gifted. She...she was a gift. Everything she did, music, math, theoretical physics — even, even dance — there was nothing that didn't come as naturally to her as breathing does to us._   
> 

* * *

**Music**

At six, River composed a serenata for show and tell, overlaying her own recording of parts for cor anglais and piano. The plaintive low melody of the English horn belied the dissonant semitones at the piece's heart.

Mostly, it sounded humorous to people. Only Simon regarded her with careful dignity when she retreated to her room afterward. "What is it called?" he asked. River couldn't tell him.

Kaylee catches her humming it while she flies. "What's that?"

"The Ballad of Serenity," she answers, knowing there is a story in the serenata.

Mal thinks Serenity belongs to him, and he runs his fingers in satisfaction over her as he laughs in the galley with Zoe and Jayne. Simon and Kaylee will be late to dinner, and their clothing will be rumpled.

River is at Serenity's helm as she skims through the black alone, a gray smear on a vast universe.

Serenity does not belong to anyone, River would tell him, but the words get tangled in her throat.

* * *

Twilight finds River on her belly, peering down at Kaylee with Simon. She falls asleep to the rhythmic groans and wakes to hands gripping her flailing arms, pinning her. She struggles, screams and twists, but cannot escape the cool metal pressing into the side of her head.

"River, can you hear me? It's okay. It's okay."

"Can I get you something from the infirmary?"

"No, I'm sure she'll calm down in a moment. Can you help me hold her? She keeps banging her head on the floor. I'm afraid —"

"Aw, hell. What is it this time?"

"I'm sorry if she woke you. It's just a bad night."

"Are you going to dope her or what?"

"I am not going to pump my sister full of drugs just because she had a nightmare, Jayne."

"What's going on?"

"Nothing. It's just a bad night, Captain."

"Mal, you gotta tell him to dope her. Now you know I can sleep through just about anything, and here I am awake cause of little sister's screaming. I need my sleep."

"We all need our sleep, Jayne. Maybe you wanna head back to your bunk and work on it."

The voices are wrong. Some watchful part of her brain reaches out, teasing the memory from the reality as she breathes. Everything tilts for one sharp second. The hands holding her down become Simon's and Zoe's. The metal poking at her skull, only Serenity beneath her. No one can know why she was there.

"Let go," River huffs.

"River?"

"Simon?" River imitates.

The hands let go slowly. River sits up as Simon's arms go around her. "What were you dreaming about?" River pulls herself to her feet as everyone but Simon and Kaylee melt away. Only Kaylee does not see anything save Simon, and River follows her gaze to the dark circles under his eyes. Has he been asleep for so much as an hour? Probably not. River tightens her grip, hugging him hard. "Are you all right?" Simon whispers, stroking her hair back.

"Yes," she says and pulls away. He needs so much looking after, but he will not let her do it. She goes to her bunk instead, ignoring the tightening in her chest as Kaylee pulls Simon away, the door closing behind them. She tells herself that Simon deserves someone like Kaylee. There are dark circles under River's eyes, as well. When she falls into a screamless nightmare, there is no one to pull her away.

* * *

Kaylee is sympathetic as she follows Simon to his room. "Did you get much sleep?"

"About an hour, I think." He starts to lay down on the bed, but turns back with a surprised look. "Did you, uh, need something?" They don't share a bunk yet. Simon has some navigating left to do. There are few formalities left to folks whose names can't appear on official documents and Kaylee holds it to her heart, wanting him to ask.

"No, no," she says, tucking her hair behind her ear. "I just thought you might want to talk. You look so tired."

"I am tired," he replies. "I could really use some sleep. We can talk tomorrow if you want."

"Sure," Kaylee says. "I'll, uh, close the door."

"Great," Simon mutters, his eyes already closed.

She leaves and trudges back to her bunk, humming a little bit to cheer herself up. He doesn't want to talk.

* * *

Kaylee remembers the ships, of course. Her parents joke that when they saved up enough to build her ma a real workshop they built it next to what passed for the town's dock just so's they could keep an eye on her. Even at two she had a habit of sneaking out and running off to watch the ships land. She also remembers the music.

Her ma could have been a fine engineer, Kaylee likes to think, but she never seemed to have much interest in ships beyond listening to Kaylee babble about extenders and shift drives. Maybe there was just more call for someone in a town like theirs who could patch cortex connectors and radios. Her ma made them all play music; the shop constantly buzzing as this or that machine came alive in her hands. She liked to joke that if she just could find the right channel, the two of them could listen to music from Earth-That-Was. "It never gets anywhere, Kaylee," she said. "It just keeps going, even t'all the way out here."

Kaylee never saw it as a joke, though. Sometimes she'd sneak into the shop after-hours and fiddle with them herself. She never found Earth-That-Was, but she'd look out the window up at the sky and think that maybe, if she got up there, she could find the music.

* * *

Another job, another firefight up the ramp, Mal shouting for River to get up in the cockpit and take off. Kaylee ducks behind the crate closest to the deck plating she'd been re-soldering. She hasn't picked up a gun since the Reavers.

Zoe stumbles, blood blooming bright below her knee. Kaylee closes her eyes and covers her ears against the sharp staccato of weapons-fire.

**Math**

At nine, River hung myriad Sangaku from her bedroom ceiling, spending all her allowance on the elegantly hand-carved wooden boards inlaid with circles, squares and triangles. She solved each one as it came, frowning if she found the answer in an hour, but smiling broadly if it took her days. Her mother said they were an eyesore. Her father didn't care so long as she didn't leave them lying around the house where visitors could see.

Simon called them art and listened patiently to River's explanations of the answers. River gave him a simple hour-answer one once. Simon hung it above it his desk. "But you've already passed geometry," his father said as he tried to replace it with a holographic three-dimensional model of the human venal system.

Simon left the Sangaku where it was, but it was five years before he tried to solve it.

* * *

The outpost job is supposed to be a much needed milk run on a border moon with real towns and shops, but Alliance towns don't sit right with Mal and Simon, even if it gives Inara a chance to make a little sorely-needed coin.

The dust disquiets everyone except Kaylee. It feels like home to her as she giddily bounces.

The place is deserted when they land, the wind whipping high around the ship, blowing dust in their faces as the cargo bay doors slowly open. "Sir," Zoe says. "I'm not sure —"

"Well, I am," Mal says. "We need this job. It's just dust. Let's go."

Zoe sighs, and unholsters her gun, but she starts to head down the ramp without another protest. She stops when she realizes Mal and Jayne aren't following.

"Sir?"

"Silly," she hears Mal mutter, calculating probabilities in his head. He walks back a few paces. "Kaylee, I changed my mind about the supplies. We'll get them some other time. I'm going to leave Jayne here."

The protests were immediate. "Mal, you ain't got no call to set me to nannying a couple of lovebirds."

"Captain, I can't — River and I were supposed to — There are stores here." Simon's birthday is just around the corner. Kaylee hasn't had any time at all to shop. Kaylee knows from experience that Jayne's too fidgety for shopping. "River's better than any ten folks with guns," Kaylee says.

Mal nods tersely and they're on their own.

Simon kisses River and Kaylee each in turn, then waves them down the ramp. "Take care of each other," he calls. Kaylee turns back once to blow a final kiss at his disappearing figure, but the ramp door has already been pulled up.

* * *

Kaylee's cuffs don't hurt much. River's wrists are already turning puffy, though. Her cuffs are tighter than they ought to be, part and parcel of the cruelty shown after the tranq dart put her to sleep. Kaylee had seen more than a few vicious kicks directed River's way, including one to the head. She has no way to track the time. It could have been only minutes since they were bundled aboard the ship or it could be hours, an indication that River's not going to wake up anytime soon.

Luckily, they have been put together. Simon had told them to take care of each other, and Kaylee takes that charge seriously. She and River are sisters, or as good as, and she refuses to let all of River's progress since coming to Serenity be undone. Kaylee's terrified to move River, so she scoots as close as she can and whispers into her ear. "Wake up, mei-mei," she says. "We won't be here long. I'm sure Mal and them are working on a rescue operation right now." Simon will save us, Kaylee thinks. That's how all the stories end.

* * *

It's a four-mile hike back into town from the farm where Kaylee's father works. He comes home well after dark. His hands are black and he stinks, his face full of dust. It's always late by the time he washes up, but he takes his dinner in Kaylee and her sisters' room so he can tell them a story while they fall asleep.

This one is about a princess whose father locks her into the center of a maze to test the worthiness of her suitors. There are monsters and traps that none of the knights who try can make it through, no matter how brave they are. In the end, the princess is freed by a poor scholar who uses his cleverness to divine the secret pattern that makes up the maze and so avoids the worst of the dangers.

Kaylee peers suspiciously at her father as he finishes the story. "You wouldn't lock me in a maze, would you?" she asks.

"I don't know about your father, but I might," her mother answers from the doorway, "if it'd keep you away from the trash around here."

"I'm from around here," her father answers with a slight tightness.

Kaylee's mother wraps her arms around him and kisses the top of his head. "But you're already taken," she says lightly. "It wouldn't hurt Kaylee none to finish school," she says. "Get work on a real ship, not some scow like she thinks she'd want."

Kaylee's never told her ma any of that, and she wonders how she knows. "See if you catch any daughter of mine working for purple-bellies," her father says and goes to wash his dishes.

* * *

It's not until the ship lands on Shanghai that Kaylee realizes she and River have been kidnapped, not arrested. The terraforming's gone wrong here. Most of the planet is locked up with ice except for a tiny equatorial band that swelters. The locals call it the gold band, and it apparently suffers from a lack of labor. It's cheaper, they tell her, to bring in folks and indentureds then it is to buy slaves. Nobody cares about them as volunteered for the work, and the owners make sure to keep "signed" indenture contracts on all the workers.

Not that the owners really need the money with the high markup on mandarin crocuses, the planet's only crop, which sells for hundreds an ounce. The flowers are too delicate for machine work and have to be picked by hand at first bloom. They're paid in scrip by the pound. The scrip can be turned in for food and goods, but the store is far past the fields and not worth walking to every night using up what little energy they have left for the tiny amount they can purchase. They learn to purchase things that will last for a week without proper storage and build up muscles to carry what they buy with them at all times. Anything left where they sleep gets stolen.

They sleep in one of the few clean spots of the field. The only official latrines are located next to the store, too far for folks to walk and use precious picking time. Those who've been here awhile or scavenged from the dead have cobbled shacks out of miscellany. Kaylee tells herself that a cardboard roof wouldn't make much of a difference anyway, but knows it's a lie.

At night, cool breezes drift by from the river and Kaylee shivers in her coveralls lying on the damp ground. Even half-asleep, she senses the movement around her and opens her eyes to find River leaning over her. Kaylee half-screams, earning loud shushes from those around them. River's eyes sparkle like dark gems in the moon glow. "Just a little louder," she whispers. "I don't think Serenity has picked your teeth up yet."

"I'm not chattering any more loudly than you are," Kaylee answers. River holds a hesitant hand out and then snatches it back. It's only sense, Kaylee thinks. "Come here," she says. River lays down next to Kaylee, scooting until they are huddled together. Kaylee runs her fingers through River's hair. "It'll be all right," she says. "They'll find us. We won't remember the cold then."

Days or weeks after Kaylee's lost track of time, she faints in the sun and bawls when she wakes to River's patchy, peeling, sun-burned and skinny pinched face. "I can't do this," she wails. Her back aches and she has contact bruises from knee to ankle from kneeling over the hideous purple flowers. Her stomach constantly clenches around nothing, and she feels dizzy all the time. It's too much for her, just too much.

"You can," River says and doesn't shy from kissing Kaylee's matted hair. "You can, I know it." She pauses and hesitates, looking sidelong at Kaylee as she says matter-of-factly. "I could kill them all."

They were told early on there was no escape. Even if anyone managed to find them, only designated ships were allowed to land, much less take off. A hulking wreck of a supply ship lies in the center of one field. "Commandeered," they were told. "But tagged and locked as soon as the alarm was sounded. They chose to lose the ship, over giving any of us ideas."

River's always been tiny, but now she's more bone than anything, raw angles that Kaylee's nearly afraid to touch for fear of breaking open the tight stretched skin. But it's River, fragile River who squats without complaint, and duck walks along the rows, fingers flying, picking three baskets to every one of Kaylee's. Kaylee looks away, embarrassed. She hasn't been taking good care of her. She sniffs and straightens, ignoring the odd popping sounds and pain. "All right," she says.

It feels awkward and strange, and her knees protest, but Kaylee manages to squat in imitation of River, who has sworn over and over again that her knees and back will hurt less in the long run. River's face is still fierce, but Kaylee tamps down the fear of all the things River can do. Kaylee grits her teeth and reaches for a flower. "I can."

**Theoretical Physics**

At 12, River wrote a paper proposing a Grand Unified Theory that solved the doublet-triplet problem and submitted it to a journal under the name of a local scientist. To his credit, the scientist disavowed the writing of the paper and finding the true author became something of a planetary cause celebre.

A year later it was finally tracked to River, making their parents furious as they railed at her for making them a spectacle. Her parents immediately shut down every line of credit and privilege River had access to. She was not going to stick her nose out of the door without him knowing it, her father barked.

Simon came to her room late that night, after everyone was sleeping and pressed a tiny wafer into her hand. "My postal code," he said, "and all my accounts, in case you have other papers to send." River didn't tell him she'd already hacked him three years ago just to see if she could.

She pressed her face into the crook of his neck, and hugged him tightly. "Thank you."

* * *

One of the shack folk has a baby and everyone who works nearby gets invited to the party. Actual alcohol is served, though there's only enough to go around for River and Kaylee to share one cup between them in toast. River wobbles as they leave and giggling, Kaylee wraps her arm around River's waist, pulling her close. "Ain't you never been drunk before?" she asks.

"Alcohol interferes with the metabolization of my medications."

Kaylee bites her lip. "Maybe I shouldn't've let you have that drink."

River rolls her eyes. "No medicine here." Kaylee's strap had slipped, exposing one fair shoulder. River thinks that maybe if she stands on tiptoe ... She lifts herself up imperceptibly, just enough to see down the front of Kaylee's coveralls. Kaylee stumbles a little and River turns away, blushing. "I'm not a kid; I can make my own decisions."

"I know that, sweetie," Kaylee says, but River can hear her true thoughts.

River turns toward Kaylee abruptly aligning their bodies flush against each other. "I'm not a kid," she says again just before she leans forward and presses her mouth hard against Kaylee's.

Kaylee stiffens against River, but she doesn't pull away. She didn't pull away, River thinks elatedly as she runs her tongue along the crack between Kaylee's lips. She sighs in pleasure as she is rewarded by Kaylee's mouth opening just a little. Their tongues meet, swirling against each other. River closes her eyes and opens up her mind. _Kaylee had never kissed a woman before. She'd thought about it. Sort of. She'd thought about two women kissing: Inara and the councilor. Other women. But she'd never let herself think about what it'd be like if_ she _kissed a woman. Silly, really. It didn't feel that different. River was very good at kissing. Kaylee's toes were curling in her shoes and her stomach was sort of melty ... It's been awhile after all since she and Simon have —_ River broke the kiss off abruptly, stumbling away from Kaylee in horror. "I'm sorry," River whispers, tears welling up in her eyes.

"No, sweetie, it's —"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry." River runs.

* * *

Kaylee's a teenager the first time she sees real honest-to-goodness purple-bellies: a Ceramics Engineer and her son are there to take soil samples in hopes of discovering another Higgin's Moon. He's tall and handsome with clear skin and straight white teeth. Kaylee's is the only friendly face in town, and his voice cracks as he babbles to her about the laws of thermodynamics. Kaylee listens to all the parts that apply to combustion engines and kisses her way down his long body.

Her father whips her when he finds out and says it's because the boy is only 14. She sleeps on her stomach and never realizes that was only part of the truth.

* * *

They've been there months when a new fellow takes one look at River's matchstick frame and tries to steal her flowers. River lashes out automatically. Her behavior more erratic lately without her meds and he's down on the ground in a spreading pool of blood before Kaylee can even blink. Her legs fail her and she tumbles over. Hauling herself to her hands and knees, she leans over and retches what little there is in her belly and dry-heaves for a while more. When her body has finally stilled, she crawls far from the mess, already stinking in the hot sun and looks for River, who is shaking and on the verge of tears. She's folded up in the dirt, head bent low, knees to her chest. Kaylee crawls over to her slowly, watching for signs that River's still ready to lash out. "Don't be scared," River begs, holding her knees so tightly that bruises will probably form.

"I'm sorry," River says. "I'm sorry." River lifts her head, face wet with tears and spattered with blood.

Kaylee gulps everything back and pries River's fingers from her knees, hugging her. "Don't. Don't cry over that hundan." She's not going to be scared of River ever again. "Let's get that basket weighed," she says, "and then get you cleaned up." They leave him where he lies and nothing is ever said to them about it.

That night, River screams in her sleep. Kaylee holds her tightly. "I'm sorry," Kaylee says. "I'm so sorry. It'll never happen again," she vows. "I promise." She looks skyward, stars blurring in her vision and swears that from now on she is going to do a better job protecting River. "We can make dryers," she says, "and then we'll get out of here. If we were dryers, we'd be closer. Less folk to try and stop us. We might make it up quickly enough not to get tagged."

There's little enough hierarchy among the workers, but there is one. Dryers, those deemed reliable and quick-fingered, wear their red-stained fingertips and round cheeks like badges of honor. All things are relative, but a dryer's work is easier. They sit indoors all day at long tables. Water is brought to them as they work, fingers nimbly shucking back every flower's petals and neatly picking the stigmas out then bundling them for drying. The building where they work is housed in the same place as the control room that gives ships permission to land and take-off and near to where they come to ground. In other words, near to where anyone who'd need to be taken out would be.

River's still hiccoughing into Kaylee's shoulder. She offers comfort the only way she knows how, kissing River's neck as her fingers move under her clothes. "Simon," River says miserably even as she arches toward Kaylee.

"He's not here," Kaylee says. "You've been in love with me for a long time, haven't you?"

"Yes," River says and surrenders.

**Dance**

They kiss as they work now, laugh and tell stories, but there's no time for more. They have to be quick to earn enough attention to make dryer. They've earned enough with their newfound energy to splurge on two sunbonnets and a shack of their own. Kaylee thinks she might get curtains next. River warm in the night, fingers splayed over Kaylee's hips, is worth everything they've been through, Kaylee thinks.

Unification Day is a holiday. Every worker receives a skinny, malnourished chicken in beneficence, an utterly useless gift in some ways, but River finds someone to borrow fire from and Kaylee wrings the chickens' necks without a qualm. Neither of them have plucked chickens before, and they make an utter mess, blood dripping from their fingers and feathers sticking to their arms, but it's good to have a day of rest and they laugh through it.

It's a transport day, and she guesses supplies still have to move, holiday or no, because she's startled by the peculiar drop boom of a ship entering atmo. If Kaylee lives to be a hundred, she'll never stop noticing ships, so she turns her eyes eagerly to the sky, hoping to see something interesting. Her heart leaps and her stomach drops when she sees it — Serenity. She hears from very far off River's scream of denial, and Kaylee starts running. Not fast enough, tianna, not fast enough. The door is already opening, Zoe and Simon strolling out, River coiling. "River, no!" Kaylee shrieks. "They're here for us!" Kaylee's voice chokes, and she takes a deep breath, stepping in front of River, her face twisting. "They came here to save us." River was frozen from the moment Kaylee screamed, her eyes finally locking with Kaylee's, the wild light dying as she begins to focus. "They're here to save us," Kaylee says again, her eyes tearing up. River shudders deep, her breathing ragged, and then she bursts into great wrenching sobs. Kaylee doesn't even hear the shouting or see the guns come out as the guards run toward them, as she enfolds River into her arms. It's Zoe who grabs Kaylee's elbow to yank her into the shuttle. Simon is bewildered as he has to drag River inside, clawing and spitting like a wild thing. She isn't trying to kill him, Kaylee knows, River's just so overcome with emotion she's lost her words and is expressing her frustration in the only way she can. The floor of the shuttle tips upward, lunges and leans. She wants to laugh hysterically when she realizes that Jayne must be flying. But he gets them out of there before anyone can get a bead on them and soon they're speeding through space. Kaylee can hear Zoe and Mal arguing over what happened to the plan, but she ignores them as she crawls toward River, who's resisting Simon's efforts to examine her. "She hasn't had her meds in a long time," Kaylee says, but Simon's already got the smoother out.

* * *

At 15, River's at a school that promised to let her dance, but doesn't. She learns other things and sends coded letter after letter to her brother.

She never gets any letters from him in return.

* * *

Mal carries River into the infirmary. "Malnutrition," Simon says, "and some kind of mite infection but I can't find any serious injuries." He looks to Kaylee for confirmation. "She was hit on the head when we were taken, but no, nothing else."

"She will probably be fine if we get some food into her. You should both probably stick to soup for the next couple of days. I'll get her started on her meds again. Slowly, in case the head injury did, did anything." He swabs his stethoscope and moves toward her. "What about you?"

Kaylee starts, drawing her eyes from River's still form, chewing her lip. "What? I mean, no, nothing. Just hungry," she said. "And tired. Wouldn't mind a shower, some clothes." She grimaces when she thinks of the mats in her hair. "A haircut."

"Of course," Simon says. He tries to hug her, but Kaylee pulls away. "I am just so glad you are safe. You have no idea how I — I thought we would never —" he chokes.

Kaylee pats his hand awkwardly. "Where's Inara?" she asks, changing the subject.

It's Mal who answers. "She took a contract for a year. Money up front. It was the only way we — we thought we'd have to bribe you out."

Simon's still frowning down at Kaylee's patting hand. "Kaylee," Simon says, blushing slightly. He leans close to her ear, whispering. "Is there— did something happen? That I should know? As — as your doctor?"

Her brow crinkles. "I told you, nothing —" Her face clears suddenly. "No, no," she says, "Nothing like that. I'm just — tired."

"So you said," Simon replies. "But —"

"I just really want to get clean," she says and flees.

* * *

River can't help but notice the way they all watch her warily now. It doesn't help that her only explanation doesn't make sense to them. "I didn't think you were coming," she says again for the hundredth time when Jayne scrapes the bulkhead to pass her on the catwalk. "I'd gotten used to being there."

She presses close to a bulkhead herself, spreading out her arms and legs to let the vibrations of the ship flow through her. She wouldn't mind melting into Serenity, wouldn't mind Kaylee rummaging in her engine and stroking her sides when pleased. No, she wouldn't mind at all.

But Kaylee hasn't told Simon yet, and River knows what that's like, because she loves him, too.

* * *

Very little dancing happens at the dances Kaylee goes to. She's willing enough to find a dark corner, but sometimes, just sometimes, she thinks about what it would be like to twirl and feel graceful. She thinks there must be real parties on other planets, just like a cortex story.

**Idiot Child**

It's hard, so hard with everyone tip-toeing around them, startled by the firmness in Kaylee's eyes and the speed at which she takes to Jayne's shooting lessons.

When Mal tries to forbid her leaving the ship at an unsavory planetfall, she's almost ready to punch him in the guts when Zoe says very quietly, "They've been to war, Sarge, you know how it is."

Mal shuts his mouth and walks away, the expression on his face part sheepish and part sad.

"You've changed," Simon says, a little bewildered. "I know, I know that I —"

But Kaylee doesn't want this anymore, doesn't want tentative and shy and halting. "I have," she says, a little startled herself. "Simon, you should know ..."

* * *

_"Everyone_ loves him best," River says, in the quiet of their bunk. "You didn't have tell him."

Kaylee kisses her and pulls at her hem. "Yes, I did."

Finis

**Author's Note:**

> Rated for violence, non-explicit teen sex.


End file.
